dude: you smoke?

i had a dream last night that my family and i were in a grocery store and some man walked past us and he said in reference to my dad “that’s the ugliest man i’ve ever seen” and i followed him around the store screaming insults at him but the only thing i can remember i said is “AT LEAST MY DAD DOESN’T LOOK LIKE EINSTEIN IN FUCKING SANDALS”


Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair



a moment of silence for my forgotten nintendogs

Nicki Minaj shining a light on the differences on acceptable sexuality from white women and black women.

Bae: Come over
Me: I'm in me mum's car
Bae: My parents aren't home
Me: Broom Broom

how she make her mouth do that

i got my id and i dont look like me and my face isn’t symmetrical 

why do people brush their teeth hard enough to flatten the bristles on their toothbrush

are ur teeth ok with this


did he commit a crime? wheres the warrant? 


did he commit a crime? wheres the warrant? 


when ur plant dies



white men are so ugly they want to make eye contact with you and want u to blush and giggle look away. Nah nigga ima look up like what u staring for ?? the fuck??? mind ya business Timothy.